Ever had one of those days?  Or nights, as in my case.  Well, I did last night at work.  Got myself so wound up I was leaking tears all night long.  Once I realized what I had done that is.  Oh, and yes, this was of my OWN MAKING.  The best kind.

It began when I arrived at work.

My young co-worker, when I walk in, puts her hand over her mouth and starts walking backwards towards our kitchen area, while pointing to the man sitting in the chair using the computer in the lobby to access the internet.

She keeps walking backwards, alternatively pointing to the man and waving me to follow her.

We finally make it to the kitchen area when she tells me this story:

That man has been in the lobby for three or four hours.  I think he is looking at pornography.  He also keeps rubbing himself down there.  I think he was on Youtube, but if I glance at the screen I see pictures of women all over the screen in different positions.  When I walk over to his area, he closes the screen so I don’t see what he is looking at.  I have been freaking out all night sitting here by myself with him in there doing that.  I could be wrong, I might be overreacting. (Ok, KEY WORDS THERE FOLKS!  DON’T FORGET, I JUST POINTED THEM OUT.)

My immediate thought, this poor girl has been in here all night with a pervert.  OMG!

I stomp out to the lobby.  Tap the guy on the shoulder.  He looks up at me.  I do not remember what I even said at that point.  Only that when he responded, he spoke no English, he did so in a foreign language. That does not stop ME!

Ok, this is the bad part.  I do NOT KNOW what possessed me to do what I am going to write at this moment, suffice it to say, I was brain dead.  That is the only explanation I have.

I pointed to his chest, to mean himself.

I then picked up his hand.

Then lowered it toward his crotch.  (DID NOT TOUCH IT) Umm…yes, I did pick up his hand and move it downwards.  I am ashamed and embarrassed to say, but I did.

He looks at me, in hindsight, not with the HUMILIATION AND HURT that I later picture in my mind.  Says, “Noooooooo”.  He understood, with my “universal hand language” that I have just asked him about rubbing himself down there right?

Uh huh.

He leaves.

The young co-worker is now telling me, “Thank you for being a Tiger Mama for me”.

I ask her why she didn’t call anyone?  She said her cell died.  She didn’t want him to hear her calling anyone and when her cell died, she couldn’t call anyone.  Now, in her defense, I’m thinking, she, in her freaked out state of mind, has forgotten that not only do we have a phone at the front desk, we have one in the kitchen and ANOTHER that allows you to put the phone system on “night” and you can walk around with that phone, no cord.  I remind her and reiterate that she NEVER has to put up with anyone doing that, ever.  Call any of us, we will come down there.  Good moves eh?

About 30 minutes later, getting stuff ready for later, I am thinking about this when it hits me.

That guy was horrified.  I hurt his feelings.  I am thinking, I have never, ever, in my life, caused such a look of pain on another human beings face.  (This is the look of an innocent man.)

I’m still stupid here.

I was mortified.

I also think, if a GUY had done that to ME, I would have been humiliated and angry and I would have not only been crying, but I would have decked him.  I just did to a guy, what guys sometimes do to girls. However, I am still blind to some other thoughts that may have went through his mind.  (Later pointed out to me by my boss. I can hear you laughing, it isn’t funny!)

So, now I am convinced I HAVE TO APOLOGIZE to this guy.  I treated him like, to be blunt, SHIT.  If a guy had done that to me, I would have felt like the lowest dirt on the planet.

I also have to tell my boss. I can’t NOT tell him.

So, after crying all night, thinking about the lowlife scum I have become and how I treated another human being, thinking of the look on his face, I await my boss’ arrival while sitting out front so I can see the guests leaving.  Course, I have no clue who the guy was, what room, his name or anything.  My boss arrives.

I tell him the whole story, after initiating the conversation like this:

Please come back out here with me while I smoke. I have to tell you something I did, that is bad.  He says really?  I say yes, REAL BAD. Oh, he says.  Gets a cup of coffee and returns.

I am getting to the point in my story about the universal sign language up there, he starts laughing.  Apologizes for laughing cuz I am crying my butt off.  See, my boss, has taken it a WHOLE DIFFERENT WAY THEN I EVER EVEN THOUGHT.  And I am still clueless, even when my boss makes remarks about guys coming in the front door and waving at me with big funny grins on their faces.  Here I thought I was a “woman of the world”, “mature”, all that stuff.   Appears not to be so.

Oh, the guys come out of their rooms.  I tell my boss, I gotta go apologize.  He tells me, as I am walking away he doesn’t think it is necessary.  I ignore him and keep on with my mission.  To make amends.  One of them speaks a little English, and I finally explain to him what happened.  I hadn’t wanted to tell another of the guys friends because I didn’t want to embarrass him any further.  The guy assures me he understands what I have said.  They all nod their heads in agreement, shake my hand, give me a hug and a pat on my back and tell me everything is ok.

They are all grinning from ear to ear.

I go back to the office, and as I walk back, it finally hits me, not only did they not understand a single word I said.

THEY THOUGHT I PROPOSITIONED THE GUY.

My boss could not stop laughing because I am incredulous when I go inside.

So, how do you ask a guy in the univeral sign language if he has been rubbing himself?

Not the way I did.

Live, learn and KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF.  My lesson for the day.

I had a very, very, very emotional night.  All my own fault.  I leave you this for your laugh for today.  Doesn’t count for Four Blue Hills Friday fun.

I am never gonna live this down. EVER